[Teflon]

Mercenaries 2

Wait I thought these guys knew what they were doing. They made the fucking Swede into a catchphrase dispenser, gave the disembodied mission control voice the body of young Joanna Dark and the few missions I've played so far were stuffed with exactly the kind of bullshit the first one avoided.

It gives you a jet-propelled speedboat right at the start and then forces you to turn around if you go in any given direction for ten seconds.

[Teflon]

Oh god Fuel is heartbreaking so far. It's got this ridiculously huge map* but doesn't DO anything with it. There's a day/night cycle and the occasional truck, and that's your lot.
This could've been mindblowing if they'd made it into a Paris-Dakar style mammoth rally thing, or played up the Fallout-with-cars angle or done basically anything other than just have all that space serve as a really cumbersome frontend for bland little 5 minute races.

Why are the only things I can find paintjobs and more races? Why not whole cars? Why not unlock areas simply by surviving the long, dangerous journey to reach them instead of a hokey points system? Add some sort of punishment for driving into a tree at 200, set up a refueling system and some consequences for running out.. grab my attention dammit!


*like, it's in the Guiness Book thing. 14.000 square kilometers of terrain.

[Teflon]

[Teflon]

Some Breath of Fire Dragon Quarter because I was in a dank ass subterranean odyssey kind of mood. Reset my save from 2005 because it had the D-Counter at 98.8%.

Been trying not to turn whyvern or whatever at all and actually getting away with it, until Industrial Area. Two hours of shop- and save-less dungeon crawling so terrifying most RPGs wouldn't dare put it into a hidden post-game dungeon followed by not one, not two but three boss fights. The first one is kind of a pushover. The second one can one-hit your whole crew in a single blow. I don't know what the third one's like because I've done this twice today without surviving boss no.2.

The balls on this game!

[Teflon]

Playing Mirror's Edge.

I thought you guys were just moaning about having to fight because it broke the game's beautiful journey or something. I didn't expect it to be this much of a pain in the ass. You can dropkick a guy at 20mph and he doesn't even flinch! Noooo, you have to stand there like an idiot and disarm him via QTE.

[Teflon]

I hit the level cap before I understood the hacking minigame or gained the ability to pick any lock beyond Easy.



Last night I dreamed of Manderlay dicked around with Armored Core 4A. Still in awe of this game even existing, still have a sense of misplaced pride for playing this shit back when it was all boxy and lacked analog look controls, still have no idea what I'm doing other than SALINE missiles will fuck enemy NEXTs up real good.