|
|
View previous topic :: View next topic
|
| Author |
Message |
schild
Joined: 05 Dec 2006
|
 Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 7:06 pm |
  |
|
I've been back home once (ONE TIME) in the last 9 years. I have no plans to go back. It was a surprise 48 hour trip to see my mom who works too much. My mom and I could get along better most of the time as well.
I'd say I'm "close" to these people. But not really "CLOSE." My father on the other hand, not my step father, is a pretty godawful person. I did not go to his mother or fathers funeral, I didn't even go when I found out they were sick. My father and I do not "get along," we merely allow eachother the benefit of living. I am also, very much, not a respect your elders type. That always struck me as "we need to respect them even though they don't respect us."
On my short list of regrets (we're talking, can count them on one hand), is not at least going to his mother's funeral. She was always nice to me though completely ignorant of her crappy situation. And it was my fucking dad's mother, man.
If my dad, mom, or stepdad got sick. I'd go. Simply because I know how it feels to not go.
But then, I'm still in America.
If you don't go, make sure you're angry enough to not regret it. If you do go, make sure you know exactly how you're going to deal with it. That is to say, if you've got shit to get off your chest or apologize for or whatever, now's your chance. Even if he ends up being in that 1%, I find that these are slates best left cleaned. I would've really liked to unload some anger on my dad's father, but I missed my chance. Closure (good and bad) is a prety great thing, guy. Don't underestimate it. |
|
| Unfilter / Back to top |
|
 |
schild
Joined: 05 Dec 2006
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 3:54 am |
|
|
| bloody heartland wrote: |
| Ebrey wrote: |
| schild wrote: |
| That always struck me as "we need to respect them even though they don't respect us." |
Woah, way to project your parental issues on everyone else. I don't think most parent-child problems are caused by parents not respecting their kids. I don't think there's any parental issue that applies to the majority of us. |
Also - seriously - the man's not making a blanket statement. He's talking about his own feelings on the matter.
Didn't think I'd see eye-to-eye with Schild on ANYTHING, but there you go. |
This :(
I thought it was pretty clear. Rudie has to come to terms with this on his own, I was just giving him how I'd handle things with my own family :( |
|
| Unfilter / Back to top |
|
|
schild
Joined: 05 Dec 2006
|
| Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:46 am |
|
|
| Ebrey wrote: |
| bloody heartland wrote: |
| Ebrey wrote: |
| schild wrote: |
| That always struck me as "we need to respect them even though they don't respect us." |
Woah, way to project your parental issues on everyone else. I don't think most parent-child problems are caused by parents not respecting their kids. I don't think there's any parental issue that applies to the majority of us. |
How's about you stop throwing this magic "us" around, George? I'd say a lack of respect for me on my parent's part has been the driving force in the fifteen years or so of grief that's somewhat sadly come to define my family life (just got back on speaking terms with em recently).
Also - seriously - the man's not making a blanket statement. He's talking about his own feelings on the matter.
Didn't think I'd see eye-to-eye with Schild on ANYTHING, but there you go. |
Wait, you're saying that "there is no parental issue that applies to most people" is a worse generalization than "parents don't respect children"? That's a hell of a leap.
schild, the way you phrased that made it sound like you thought most children tried to respect their parents despite not being respected. I don't think that's the case at all. The reason there is social pressure to respect your parents (with phone calls and Christmas visits, mostly) is that it's natural to drift away from them. After raising you for 18 years, most parents deserve the option of maintaining their relationship with you, even if you don't care for it. And yeah, there are a few parents who don't deserve this. |
ok great
let's focus on rudie's problem now. which is an entirely different brand of suck that I wish on nobody.
Edit: And just so you don't think I'm blowing you off, which I'm not, I really do just care more about the OP:
| Quote: |
| I am also, very much, not a respect your elders type. That always struck me as "we need to respect them even though they don't respect us." |
That's my quote. Let's break it down.
1. I am also, very much, not a respect your elders type. That always struck me as "we need to respect them even though they don't respect us."
2. I am also, very much, not a respect your elders type.
3. I am
4. I
I don't know how that came across as this:
| Quote: |
| the way you phrased that made it sound like you thought most children tried to respect their parents despite not being respected. |
Bullshit, there is no goddamn way to argue that I'm somehow saying this has ANYTHING to do with "most children." |
|
| Unfilter / Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
