[Dark Age Iron Savior]

DO IT NOW



PLAY IT NOW



report back after every few last lifes lost!!
_________________

[Toups]

Man I can't even BEAT this game let alone one credit it.

Also didn't I start a topic like this last year?
_________________

[Dark Age Iron Savior]

[Mr. Apol]

motherfucker please

been there, done that

it's funny how arcade mode in this game isn't even as hard as the normal difficulty in gradius III ARCADE FROM MYTH TO LEGEND

i've been both though

you know what

i will do this!

i will plug up my snes and do this just to spite you dark age iron savior.

toups this game is like the easiest hori shooter ever
_________________

[Mr. Apol]

god man CORYOON CHILD OF DRAGON is harder than this game

other horizontal shooters harder than gradius 3 snes:

axelay
coryoon child of dragon
progear
rtype
super rtype
rtype 2
gradius
rtype 3
rtype final
gradius 2
nemesis
parodius
sexy parodius
parodius 2
lifeforce
salamander
salamander 2
xexex
heavy gear
blazing star
sliver surfer for the nes
border down
darius
gradius 3 arcade
magical chase

horizontal shooters easier than gradius 3 snes:

the horizontal stage in gunstar heroes
the horizontal stage in james bond jr.
_________________

[Dark Age Iron Savior]

okay first try 29300 at the beginning of stage two, I was trying to proceed with Double but was not doing so well

okay now back to ripple my old favorite

SHIT I GOT THE TAILGUN BY ACCIDENT

okay okay I can do this

okay nevermind I can't do this (died)

dammit I got the ripple and then I died again!

shit DAMMIT 19600 still in the middle of stage one

okay this time I will MAKE SURE I get ripple first off and then I will kick ass with it

DAMMIT DON'T DIE

DAMMIT I PICKED UP TAILGUN AGAIN

SHIT I HAD RIPPLE AND TWO WAY MISSILE AND OPTION AND I FUCKED UP but I got an extra life OKAY I CAN DO THIS

wait fuck I didn't make it as far as the boss checkpoint already did I? fuck!

SHIT!

GOD DAMMIT

okay break time
_________________

[Deets]

How can you accidentally pick up tailgun that much?

[Dark Age Iron Savior]

the first time I just sucked and the second time I JAMMED BUTTON because I thought it was going to be a power-up that I was eating but then it turned out to be a screen clear

TRY FOUR!

okay this time I am going to try the PHOTON TORPEDO and twin laser. what is the advantage of two lasers anyways?

DAMMIT X1

DAMMIT x2

YES! I got past the first boss! and there's my extra life wooooooooo
this photon torpedo is kind of neat and the twin laser makes a nice noise but now I have no overhead support

YAY! three options~

I think I am going too fast though DAMMIT

NOOOOOOOOOO DAMMIT

......

48100 about midway through the stage 2 bubbles

okay try two. now I will try the Back Double way

MAN I DIDN"T EVEN TOUCH THAT BULLET

I did touch that one though :(

enemy ship why didn't you get out of the way :(

16900, halfway through stage one.

I don't like Back Double :(
_________________

[SplashBeats]

I beat this game when I was 10.

[Dark Age Iron Savior]

[Toups]

[Dark Age Iron Savior]

I just heard a police siren start up, then fade into a distance

next to me, I have a glass of a vaguely unidentifiable liquid and some little debbie abomination known as a "chocolate chip creme pie" or something like that. it's two really floppy chocolate chip cookies with some kind of icing stuff between them

I will only eat this unhealthy but somewhat tasty thing if I can actually make progress!

OKAY

I AM GOING TO DO THIS

WITH RIPPLE LASER

how do you make a laser like that, anyways? is it the same process as blowing a smoke ring

DAMMIT! I was doing kind of good there for a second

DAMMIT

yay! passed stage one! man, the game is like totally different when I am this close to it

SHIT!

man I am doing kind of good maybe this gives me an unfair advat

..

40800, just into the bubble section of stage two

hmm.

okay, one more try with ripple!

DAMMIT! why are enemy ships so suicidal

SHIT NO DAMMIT I DIDN"T MEAN TO DO THAT

AUGH

what? game over already! but....but...dammit!

OKAY TRY THREE WITH RIPPLE!

woo option yeah GO OPTION WOOO

man it's amazing how little colored pixels so accurately represent space

augh where did that bullet come from!!

YEAH TAKE THAT GIANT SANDWORM THING

hmm, maybe I need some kind of voice recorder thing

yeah option SHIT DAMMIT

DAMMIT

I made it through the bubbles!!

man that boss was pretty easy! I shot the core and everything.

I am totally rocking stage three even though

SHIT THAT WAS MY LAST LIFE

...

the continue music sounds pretty sad

I need to go get cats soon

EDIT: 78200! I was so close to another life!
_________________

[option]

I got to the 4th stage without dying then used up all my lives back to back =(

I will try again tomorrow...

[haze]

MY FIRST TRY: I GET GAME OVER BEFORE EVEN REACHING THE DESERT. DAMN SLOPPY.

okay i'm using the default #1 setup because supposedly it's the best right? even though it is a little boring. it's just that every other setup feels like it's subtracting and adding strengths and I'm too lazy now to make a decision. hey i one-credited Gradius 1 on NES a few days ago after a few minutes of practice so this should be no problem!

okay it takes a few credits before i can beat Stage 1 with no deaths. then after that with a fully powered ship i coast through Bubbleland somehow, narrowly avoiding the suicide ships that got me before. wooh, on a roll.

then I die a little ways into Stage 3 -- AUGH SOMETHING CRASHED INTO ME A MICROSECOND BEFORE I PUSHED (A) TO ACTIVATE A NEW FORCE FIELD -- and quickly lose all my lives at the same spot because I can't even get a Speed-Up in time to survive.


this whole military operation was a trap! lure me deep into enemy territory so my extra lives can be picked off while helpless, that was their plan from the start. if any future pilots finds the wreckage of my ship and extracts the voice recorder, know that I suck at this game and apologize for not saving the galaxy. I probably should've been more drunk for this mission.

[Churippu]

HOLY SHIT THAT BOX ART.

I HAD THAT GAME.

WTF? I DON'T REMEMBER!

[Dark Age Iron Savior]

okay I am going to leave cats alone for a while longer, hopefully they are not caught

now I am going to go SIX last lives before I post

and this time I'm going to use the laser. the plain, regular old laser. because I love lasers!

but...not in FPS games, really, where you find a lot of lasers. and lasers in sidescrolling games aren't always that hot. but man, a laser in a shmup, that thing just sweeps through enemies like a giant fucking broom! a....laser broom, I guess.

although I guess I prefer homing weapons.

but shit, I really like lasers!

oh yes, a laser and an option, god it's so beautiful

wait a second, this planet has a sandy ceiling. how can that happen? wouldn't the sand fall down?

SHIT

DAMMIT

wait I'm not at the boss already am I? dammit!

ARGH

augh dammit

don't play game over music :(

try two! I'm going with laser again! I really like it...when I can get it

man I let that bullet go straight up my ass :(

again :(

option! you know, they should make a Gradius game where the options all have personalities and they say distracting things and talk to one another while you are trying to dodge waves of bullets

I wonder if the dragons of the Gradius series inspired the Syvalion dragon. They kind of look the same. Kind of.

OH YEAH BOSS DIE FAST DIE HARD

man it's late I have to go get the cats

okay I got the cats now I am going to ROCK THE BUBBLES

what where did that bullet come from!?!?

augh bubble! game over :(

maybe I should stop making so many line breaks. okay, this time, I'm....okay, I'm going to do laser again. augh dammit! then the dragon ate me! then I died beceause I wasn't paying attention! wait, I didn't even earn an extra life? dammit!

sometimes I wonder if I use too many speed ups, and I'm making myself too fast to control. recently, I've been sticking to only two or three, but could I do just as well on one? I'm not really sure I have the capabilities to pull that off. okay, now I am going to use VERITCAL, just to see if it's any good! and spread bomb, what does that do?

VERTICAL SUCKS! I'm firing really slow now. but whoa, spread bomb flies out at an awesome angle! whoa, it just wiped put like three ground-based enemies! this is totaly some kind of Scorched Earth weapon! oh wow, I just earned an extra life before I even lost one! I changed my mind, Vertical is awesome! SHIT! DAMMIT! SHIT AGAIN!

do bosses retain damage between lives? it always seems to take less to kill them after I've been stripped bare of all my goods. man, I hope I get that Vertical back soon, it was pretty sweet. whoa, why am I tearing through bubbles so fast? is Vertical even more awesome than I ever dreamed? take that, bubbles! SHIT! DAMMIT! shit! game over!

I'm going to try Vertical once more. then I'm going back to ripple. also, I'm cutting this off at five lost last lives. that is enough per post.

what are those little things stick out of the Vic Viper's wings? they have little glowy lights at the end. let me check wikipedia.

there's nothing there! the gradius V model of the Vic Viper doesn't have them! what the shit?! okay, back to the game. whoa! dammit! wooo dead boss! DAMMIT DMAMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DMAMIT. DMAMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT

okay, I'm going to take a break and read some fukuboro. man, this game is harsh
_________________

[Dark Age Iron Savior]

okay, I am too tired, I am going to eat the stupid cookie thing even though I ddidn't even get halfway through level three

I WILL TRY AGAIN TOMORROW
_________________

[option]

Okay! trying again now

Trying an edit mode... H.wind,vertical,ripple,R.option,force field, and option... option? what does that do? it has a little ship next to the name too... well i better pick it to find out.


Got 3 options spinnin around me and missles, first boss down no problem so far so good maybe I should pick up ripple for the bubble level..... actually first I'm going to figure out what that damn "!" with option does


What a jip! all it does is give you two chances on the power up bar to get an option... *frowny face*

Well at least now I have 4 options... feel pretty safe at the moment!

Dude tried to steal my options half way through the lvl but I'm not having none of that!

Got shield... I am an unstoppable ripple spewing whirlwind of distruction!


ACK! I died to the bubble boss... spinning options and ripple made my direct attack super weak and I couldnt even make a dent... he just kinda floated right over me ><

I'm starting over!...


going to use default type-one this time. Think all the custom power got to my head!


Died at the sand part... have nothing but a single laser now but the 1st boss died ultra quick, on to the bubbles!


OMG LASERS ARE HORRIBLE AGAINST BUBBLES!! died again...

got missle and double only, and the bubble boss went down quick... think I will stay away from Teh LAZORZ for now.... need some options... and a shield would be swell too...

gave over... =(

Will try again later today...

[SplashBeats]

You guys all fucking blow at Gradius III. Get your options, get your laser, get missles, proceed to rock.

That port is insanely easy.

[Deets]

More like, use E. Laser and size reducer to break the game completely in half.

Joe, put your money where your mouth is. If that happens to be your ass, I apologize for the uncomfortable position that will put you in.

[Deets]

Done.

There really isn't much to say. Reduce makes it almost impossible to die, E. Laser one-hit kills half the bosses in the game, and two or three-hit kills everyone else! You can also just charge it up with rolling options and become an invulnerable spinning tornado of death.

[firenze]

No SNES version, so I play the Real Man's Version. Well, at least a port of it on PSP.

I made it to the second boss. Then I died. Me thinks FKW will go out in blazing failure. I think I need to fire up the PS2 Gradius III+IV disc and play with a real controller and a better port now.

[Wilkes]

Chill.

I'm about to do this.

[professor_scissors]

I am down with this.

ROCK MODE: ENGAGED

TAKE 1: Hawk Wind, Tailgun, Twin, Option, Reduce, Mega Crush.

Fuck I hit a bullet in the desert.
FUCK I hit a bullet I am not used to this game at ALL

Oh god I have to fight this boss with nothing but one speed up I hate dying in this game

God damn it fuck this I'm starting over

TAKE 2: Missile, Tailgun, E.Laser, R.Option, Reduce, Mega Crush.

ARHGHGRHGHR FUCK GOD DAMN IT CUNT

That's it I'm starting over after every life until I can clear the fucking first stage without ramming a bullet like a goddamn jackass

A'ight got two options and a missle let's fight a boss battoru and FUCKCHRIST I accidentally loaded a different rom when I was alt-tabbing over to this window CUNT BITCH
Okay that one doesn't even count

One sec changing controls

Haha fuck yeah boss E.LASER'D

FUCK CUNT GODDAMNIT

Run into one fucking bullet in this game and your life is fucking over

CHRIST

Okay now there's no way I can ever recover I'm in the middle of the fucking bubble stage

God I hate how dying once fucks you over so hard in this game it's worse than Cho Ren Sha

GAME OVER 49800
That was so many different loads of bullshit

Take like infiinity
FUCK
Take infinity + 1
Jesus I just can't see the bullets why can't I see the bullets

Okay I've got my reduce and my options and my laser now

Whoa whoa whoa wait what
The Reduce doesn't die in one hit?
Man, why are the other shields even there

I barely even have to move in some parts

Third boss: Condition ROCKED

I used to know a guy who could get this far playing with his feet
He couldn't beat the Moai head stage though

Okay some kind of nigger scorpion took my option
Got it back though

Fourth boss: ROCKapella'd

Whew okay the lava stage was pretty easy but very stressful

I didn't get hit by the dragon's exploding body parts like I always do!
that stage is also crazy short

The plant stage is really easy, frankly

OH MY GOD I survived the fast stage!
BOSS GAUNTLET ENGAGE

ROCK
ROCK
ROCK
ROCK
ROCK
Gauntlet over!

Oh god not this stage
Some wall is gonna jump up and eat me I just KNOW it

Whew

Haha by the time that boss's cores opened his weapons were all gone

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I touched
A wall
Fuck those speed-ups I had to get for the fast stage
It was nice guys
But I'm doomed now

dead
dead
how do I dodge these fucking chunks of the wall
dead
dead
dead
dead
dead
dead

GOD I hate how this game is designed
GOD
Why do they even GIVE you extra lives there's no point because one death and FUCK YOU

Fucking

Final score 450000 or so I closed it becasue that was a load of bullshit
Seriously
Fuck

[professor_scissors]

I am down with this.

ROCK MODE: ENGAGED

TAKE 1: Hawk Wind, Tailgun, Twin, Option, Reduce, Mega Crush.

Fuck I hit a bullet in the desert.
FUCK I hit a bullet I am not used to this game at ALL

Oh god I have to fight this boss with nothing but one speed up I hate dying in this game

God damn it fuck this I'm starting over

TAKE 2: Missile, Tailgun, E.Laser, R.Option, Reduce, Mega Crush.

ARHGHGRHGHR FUCK GOD DAMN IT CUNT

That's it I'm starting over after every life until I can clear the fucking first stage without ramming a bullet like a goddamn jackass

A'ight got two options and a missle let's fight a boss battoru and FUCKCHRIST I accidentally loaded a different rom when I was alt-tabbing over to this window CUNT BITCH
Okay that one doesn't even count

One sec changing controls

Haha fuck yeah boss E.LASER'D

FUCK CUNT GODDAMNIT

Run into one fucking bullet in this game and your life is fucking over

CHRIST

Okay now there's no way I can ever recover I'm in the middle of the fucking bubble stage

God I hate how dying once fucks you over so hard in this game it's worse than Cho Ren Sha

GAME OVER 49800
That was so many different loads of bullshit

Take like infiinity
FUCK
Take infinity + 1
Jesus I just can't see the bullets why can't I see the bullets

Okay I've got my reduce and my options and my laser now

Whoa whoa whoa wait what
The Reduce doesn't die in one hit?
Man, why are the other shields even there

I barely even have to move in some parts

Third boss: Condition ROCKED

I used to know a guy who could get this far playing with his feet
He couldn't beat the Moai head stage though

Okay some kind of nigger scorpion took my option
Got it back though

Fourth boss: ROCKapella'd

Whew okay the lava stage was pretty easy but very stressful

I didn't get hit by the dragon's exploding body parts like I always do!
that stage is also crazy short

The plant stage is really easy, frankly

OH MY GOD I survived the fast stage!
BOSS GAUNTLET ENGAGE

ROCK
ROCK
ROCK
ROCK
ROCK
Gauntlet over!

Oh god not this stage
Some wall is gonna jump up and eat me I just KNOW it

Whew

Haha by the time that boss's cores opened his weapons were all gone

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I touched
A wall
Fuck those speed-ups I had to get for the fast stage
It was nice guys
But I'm doomed now

dead
dead
how do I dodge these fucking chunks of the wall
dead
dead
dead
dead
dead
dead

GOD I hate how this game is designed
GOD
Why do they even GIVE you extra lives there's no point because one death and FUCK YOU

Fucking

Final score 450000 or so I closed it becasue that was a load of bullshit
Seriously
Fuck

[abszero]

[WarpZone]

I like Gradius V's reduce.

[BotageL]

Fucking fuck this fucking game fuck argh FUCK! I got up to the fucking Maui boss one time doing aces and then I made one mistake and I was totally fucking fucked and I fucking can't get back to that fucker to fuck him in the fucking ass now. Fuck!

But man, full options + e laser + reduce = you win (for a while anyway). God, I love inducing slowdown.
_________________

http://www.mdgeist.com/

[Mr. Apol]

[Mr. Apol]

[gooktime]

The only Gradius I have completed is the first one, where I can get onto like the third loop or some shit. The rest give me controller/psp throwing rage after the first couple of stages.

Is the SNES port of III changed up or something from the arcade version?

[Mr. Apol]

[Red_venom]

Am I the only one who goes beyond one credit and plays Gradus 3 on ONE LIFE?

Anyway I got to level 5 and died once and turned it off, happens every time I play it lately.

[Dark Age Iron Savior]

Congratulations, Deets!

personally I kind of never thought about doing edit mode. I mean I kind of thought "hey wouldn't it be a hoot to do this with edit weapons" and then I looked at them and I thought "this is some serious firepower shit right here, I cannot rightfully challenge myself with this even if I have no idea how to use it." so I've been going vanilla 1-4! maybe that's why I'm doing so badly!

once more unto the breach! WITH RIPPLE! and a black cat, who may give me bad or good luck I do not know

man I am going to die any second now I can just FEEL it! the cat could feel it too because it left. now it is just me and my vic viper and my ripple! SHIT! man don't you hate it when you pause and you there is a bullet right next to you and you go "man I am not going to run into that bullet" and you unpause and then you run into that bullet?

Whoa! A sand dragon appeared where one does not usually appear and then it blew up! Is that normal behavior for sand dragons? Shit! Man, those pincers weren't anywhere near me! 22,300 at boss one! Okay, let's try Ripple ONE MORE TIME

Doing pretty good! I let the last sand dragon follow me and then it blew up! Man, the Gradius games need monster collecting like Pokemon. They would be "Special Options" and they would follow you until they get blown up. Anyway, my new strategy is "keep pausing and don't screw up!" I predict great things for this strategy. Like, I just killed the first boss in one life! I am totally making progress! I think I'm going too fast now, though. Probably shouldn't have gotten that third option, either - it's getting hard to see the bullets now! Almost through the bubbles SHIT! and again! dammit! And again! Man these bubbles are dangerous! DAMMIT! 51700, fighting those damn bubbles!

Okay! Going back to VERTICAL! no wait, C. Laser! What does that one do? I'm going to find out now! Okay, what the hell is the difference between this and the normal laser? Man, multiple options with lasers are so beautiful. Doing good so far! WHAT WHY DIDN'T MY FORCE FIELD WORK? Wait, how does the force field work, anyways? I guess it doesn't protect you from running into things. Hrmph. Okay, doing good...shit, the homing things in bubbles! Shit! dammit! And again! Dammit! Dammit, and died on the second boss! A perfect 50k!

Okay, NOW we do VERTICAL! Woo, through the first boss after several close calls. Whoa, through the second boss after several close calls! Damn! First life lost after being fully tricked out a bit into stage three. Let's see how far I can make it before... Shit! Shit again! Shit once more! DAMMIT! 92400, maybe 25% into stage three?

Okay, now I am going to try DOUBLE. The real double, not tailgun double or back double. Although...no, going with straight DOUBLE. Man, this is kind of nice, taking out the enemies up and ahead of me. man, I keep forgetting my "keep fucking pausing!" strategy. Okay, there goes boss one. MAN THAT FUCKER JUST STOLE THREE OF MYOPTIONS! FUCK! Shit, the boss got me! I was doing so well. Man don't put me back before the homing guys! Whoa, I got to the volcanos! I'm gonna die now! Oh shit, it's the zone you have to dig through! Fuck! I always die here!

OH SHIT I MADE IT THROUGH! Thank you massive slowdown <3 SHIT FUCK DAMMIT. Whoa WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE DAMMIT DON'T RUN INTO THAT DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT DON'T RUN INTO THAT BULLET!

..... 110,500...midway through stage three? I think this is the farthest I've ever gotten. I need to take a break, because I can feel a headache coming on...
_________________

[Mr. Business]

Damn, Apol. You never told me you were such a badass. I, on the other hand, am a sadass. I don't think I've even seen the 4th stage of Gradius III. I do own the cartridge though. I recall being ritualistically fucked by this game quite a bit as a kid.

I'd do as this thread commands, but frankly, I want to go to sleep. Okay, fine. I'll play. Update in a few minutes.

I only saw one goddamn sandworm before I blew up! Maybe I should have used the Konami code first. :/

Man, I thought that thing was a diamond, not a fuckin' bullet! What's the deal with puttin' bullets in front of powerups, anyway? Oh well, I got an extra life, so my death is forestalled by maybe a few minutes.

I ran into a fucking bubble. Christ. I just got killed by Mr. Bubble! This is a low point in my day.

I thought I was doing well. I had two options and an E. Laser, not to mention a bit of speed, but then a fucking bipedal gunbot walked on the ceiling of area 3, right into my little ship, just as I was charging some E. Laser death for one of those ceiling emplacements.

Anyway, I ended up at 65,300. I dunno how good that is, but it seems pretty sucky. I actually think I could become good at this game if I practiced. Too bad I'm a moron who actually has to work in order to pass classes. I think maybe I should try to sit down and finally beat Legend of the Mystical Ninja sooner or later here. But this probably isn't the weekend to do it!

Man, none of these symbols look like Gemini to me.
_________________
Taking a break.

[Rud31]

Fuck, I suck at this game. Apol you are my shooter game buddy, but die and restart games just kill me.

I did manage to get to the 4th stage of Gradius V for the first time this week. I had to use 3 of my 4 credits during it. I said, "Fuck I'm out of credits."
_________________
My Hawt Blog Vita Games

THERE ARE DEFINITELY WORSE VIDEO GAME PODCASTS

[professor_scissors]

[Deets]

I recall watching a replay, via mame, of a man who knew gradius like the back of his hand. The original, mind you. He got to some ungodly loop - I'm not going to try to remember which one specifically, but imagine an unrealistically high number - and died. He had a ridiculous number of extra lives racked up. He died over and over. He used up at least double-digit lives before settling into a groove again. Is that what seperates the true heroes from the pretenders? I wonder.

[option]

I got to the fire dragons boss no problem and died from nothing... literally I was watching for something to attack me and I just blew up....

One of the dragon heads was facing me though so I think a blast of fire breath hit me but was flickering too much for me to see it or something...

Pretty disheartening. Is the fire boss close to the end? I've never played this gradius before this thread.

I play with generic Type-1 Once two of my options were stolen by that thing in the bubble stage I never bothered getting more so I got as far as I did with two options,missle, and double shot (forward and up-forward)

all my powerups went into my shield though... Is it just me or does the normal shield give you like a 50% larger hit box than normal?...stuff goes fast.



I think this game would be a lot more enjoyable if my controller wasnt broken and registered down as forward a quarter of the time. Dems the breaks for not wanting to spend money I spose.


EDIT: ha, just found out the fire dragon is like, half way... I most likely wont beat this thing before FKW is over =(
Oh wellz

[gooktime]

I got bored at the moai level...

I played a few loops of the first Gradius earlier, then started G2 and died repeatedly before the fourth boss. Always amazes me just how much easier the first is. Some great music in Gradius 2, mind.

[option]

Well I tried again for the 5th time and got to the fast corridor level boss before I died.

I kinda like the "easy once you do it" play style. Aside from a few hicups at the start, I only seem to die to things when its my first time seeing them.