Lick Meth
Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Location: A constant state of flux
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 Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 6:00 pm |
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| Dracko wrote: |
| Tucker Stone wrote: |
This installment in "why all the gay jokes, is it because of that fucking jacket? Because historically, gay male stereotypes actually HAVE fashion sense" is not as awesome as the part where Guy Gardner blew a frost dick, but it's still kind of awesome when you realize that particular issue was the issue right before this one, so obviously there's going to be more to come, and eventually somebody is going to try to top that frost dick, because holy fucking shit that frost dick is just laying out there like a sexed up challenge, all legs spread and balls-lolling. There isn't an artist at DC that isn't itching to rustle up a shot at the title. It's like Gladiator, this shit is going to echo in eternity. Right now, the frost dick is the king of all these sorts of panels. It doesn't have any context with which to ruin itself, because it's quite simply exactly what it appears to be, a drawing of a guy sucking white, ropey fluid off a thick penis-shaped shaft. There's even what appears to be musculature. I've been stapling it onto telephone poles outside schools, myself.
You know why this thing is such a godsend? Because there's absolutely no possible way for anyone to pretend that this is something other than what it looks like, and therefore, if anybody ever tries to tell you differently, you now have carbon paper level proof that You Are Dealing With A Crazy Person. That's it! This is the Green Lantern Acid Test that can out the sick amongst ye, the metal detector for the hidden tin foil hat wearers. You want to know if you can trust a dude not to corner you into some fucking-kill-yourself conversation about whether or not super-hero comics are literature, or why they shouldn't have cast Christian Bale as Batman because in real life he's not tall enough to convincingly portray Bruce Wayne, or how their private campaign to reclaim the word "geek" is going, or to interrogate you about possible costume redesign contests for Batgirl, or some motherfucking laundry lists of tips on how to customize motherfucking sisterraping action figures so they can build their own hypothetically "perfect" Avengers team, or what you thought of their latest six hour podcast of the 100 greatest Thor stories NOT by Samnee n' Simonson, or any of the other horrible, horrible things that make those of us with working genitalia want to forcibly sever our genitalia and hold it up to the sky like the monkey with the bone at the beginning of 2001, right before we bring that sloppy mess of wetness down on top of our own fucking childhoods, because I swear to God, I swear to God right fucking here and now, if somebody ever asks me what I thought of the trailer for the digital release of a motion comic prequel to the Thundercats cartoon relaunch, I'm going to break into a nuclear facility covered in Smuckers strawberry preserves, and I'm not going to be sorry even if everybody I've ever loved ends up looking like Michael Ironsides at the end of Scanners. That's how strongly I think that these comics above merely make literal what every sane person--man, woman or child--has known all along.
And that's that Hal Jordan is totally gay. |
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I can't even begin to imagine the context on this. |
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