[Persona]

Inspired by the quality writing of this article: http://kotaku.com/5884572/just-when-you-thought-you-couldnt-care-less-about-binary-domain-a-multiplayer-trailer-arrives

If you're lost, here's a quick guide on the structure of how this preview should look like:
- Title: capitialize every first letter except "A"
- Paragraph 1: flippant admission of no experience with said title
- Paragraph 2: calling out another game
- Paragraph 3: inexplicably tying game 2 to game 1
- Paragraph 4: non sequitur wrap up
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[Persona]

Hurr Hurr Mario Hurr

I haven't played a Mario game before. Who wants to press buttons to jump? Who wants to be an Italian guy?

I'll tell you who: tards that love GTA 3. Italians all over the fucking place.

And that's why MARIO 3DLAND sucks - one too many of those dudes if you ask me.

But Italians aside, I'm sure Mairo 3d Land will be the best game ever and I'm gonna buy it when it comes out because what was I talking about I can't even watch a youtube video for 5 seconds or write something based off even the screenshot because I couldn't possibly give a shit but i'm still required to write something when i post
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[klj5j6li]

(Title)Are Games Irrelevant Compared To Dark Souls???

(1)I've never played Diablo 3, but I have played (2)Dark Souls, and (3)both of these games start with "D". (4)God Hand.

[108]

yeah guys sorry about this i think they got it from me :-/
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[TXTSWORD]

In all fairness, I posed it as a question to people who HAD played Diablo III. Asking THEM if THEY felt that Dark Souls did everything they would want Diablo III to do. I passed no judgment! I did laugh, however.

[OffalAl]

it's definitely an inane/ludicrous comparison

[Ni Go Zero Ichi]

Don't forget that the title of the article has to be straining itself sore to come off as "casual" and "hip", while in actuality just looking smarmy and juvenile.
Long-exhausted /v/ memes are a plus.

[BadFlower]

Something Awful In Cahoots With Mt. Dew And a Videogame Publisher

I'd admit to not frequenting the SA boards much. Why would I when I have access to the far superior comments section on this here site [editor's note: ;)] that I can boss people around on.

So Something Awful was recently accused of being a secret advertising firm. Rumors have also surface of Lowtak Kyenka, Richard being a sharehold for the popular soft-drink Mt. Dew. These were brought to the attention of the world by the small Community Reddit.


Featured Screenshot: Potential Advertising Campaign On Something awful?

Now Reddit is responsible for little things on the internet like Rage Comics and the success of the game Minecraft. They definitely have some street cred with me for that stuff right there.

Something Awful, if you've never heard of Goatze, is home to dweebie fat kids suck man boobs and crying about Dragons Age 2. The thing is, the Dragon Age 2 Is Shit thread is allowed to exist while any criticism Valve is met with a swift ban. Coincidence that one of the mods works for Valve? No.

I mean, I'm just a humble blogger on a small time site in the videogame-verse, but this is just wrong. It's like you're being served waffles but then the celebrity cast of Skate[.] comes over and plays Jizz Biscuit with your breakfast. Your only response can be "What is happening?!"

[Talbain]

The Last Of Us Is A Game
Now, I haven't watched any of the trailers for The Last Of Us, but I can say that the art for the game makes it one of the best games ever created. It's easily going to smash all records that have come before it, and that's saying something in the wake of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3.

Speaking of Modern Warfare 3, I bet this game will have more realistic environments than that game. It just seems to me like Modern Warfare 3 was a meandering mess, meant to sell to the baser instincts. But not The Last Of Us. This game's easily more high-concept.

I mean, I wanted to be excited for Modern Warfare 3, but the monotony of the first-person shooter is just too much. It's overplayed, it needs more subtlety, more reality to its actions, perhaps some weight to the consequences of, I dunno, shooting people. Even virtual people.

Who knows though, maybe I'll go limping back to Modern Warfare 3. Or Battlefield 3. I dunno, I get tired and eventually you gotta get your fix.
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[Adilegian]

Yeah, I read a bad book once, now I don't read [all books].
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[Youpi]

You Will Die: Final Fantasy XIII-2 Confirmed To Have Boss Fights

I know that some of you have played Dark Souls, Bandai's latest hack and slash. I didn't because I am too excited about Diablo 3, but if you know anything about Dark Souls, you know about its epic boss fights.

In fact, boss fights are really something Diablo 3 isn't handling so well, because it's mostly about clicking on the mobs until they die.

That's why we were thrilled to learn from our sources that Final Fantasy XIII-2 has more than 40 boss fights, not including the optional boss fights which are not part of the main storyline but can give you trophies/achievements. Square certainly learned something from Dark Souls on this one.

Can boss fights be art? The comments section is there for you.
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Twitter: @youpi

[Ni Go Zero Ichi]

When citing anonymous "sources", be sure to include at least one outrageous and almost certainly false claim. Make it up yourself if you have to - who's going to know? - just as long as it gets you those luscious, juicy page hits.
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Just another savage day on Planet Earth.

[Ni Go Zero Ichi]

And if you are Brian Ashcraft, find a way to mention Japanese sexual fetishes, no matter the context. Showing off your expertise in reading 2ch and objectifying women makes you cool!

[TXTSWORD]

Jesus Christ Youpi - rofl.

Man I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I read that on Kotaku. I used to go on Kotaku when I was bored so I could stumble across something infuriating that I could revel in hating. I don't do that any more. Not because I'm more mentally healthy, but because I have less time on my hands.

[TXTSWORD]

[Toups]

hahaha frontpaged this rules
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[Kinto]

[TXTSWORD]

[Persona]

That sounds more interesting than whatever they actually posted.
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[klj5j6li]

[TXTSWORD]

I feel bad for leaving my shit all over this thread now that it's frontpaged.

[Rokkan]

[Youpi]

New Footage of Dead or Alive 5 Discovered

Honestly, I stopped caring about the series after Dead or Alive 2, because I am not sure if Japan thinks we are supposed to be turned on by this kind of stuff, but it certainly is very creepy.

I mean, if you were the sort of person turned on by this sort of stuff, why would you play this and not Soul Calibur IV? The breast slider in the character creator puts DOA to shame.

But for the fans of Itagaki's series, you will find after the jump a 9 minute leaked video, which uses the free camera mode to zoom and pan on the feet of every female character, with various outfits, some of which have no shoes on.

Did you know that Kasumi is only 16? What the heck, Japan.

Source: NicoNicoDouga
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Twitter: @youpi

[klj5j6li]

selectbutton best video game butts awards:

1. samus
2. taki
3. link
4. snake
5. lost izalith dinosaurs

[probably fine]

[Rud31]

Vanessa >:|
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My Hawt Blog Vita Games

THERE ARE DEFINITELY WORSE VIDEO GAME PODCASTS

[Youpi]

New Tetris Version Confirmed For The 3DS?



Source: Twitter
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Twitter: @youpi

[Ronk]

Marcus Fenix Rumored for Next Smash Brothers?

I might make some people mad when I type this but: I didn't exactly like Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Didn't even play it really. The one on Nintendo 64? Yeah, dude I played that shit all the time. But not the newest one.

See, I don't play a lot of Wii games anymore, because I've been playing some more fleshed-out, HD titles like Gears of War 3. When it comes to my money, I prefer the Hammer of Dawn over any cartoon Super Mario hammer.

Though maybe they're not so different? After all? At least if Reddit's r/gaming is to be believed, where I discovered lovingly sketched concept art of Marus and Mario eating each others assholes.

Now, this could very well have been some fan's proposed secret character choices, or maybe an attempt to create a more "mature" style, changing it up from the previous games "looking just like those Nintendo characters" art style. (The detail on the assholes of the two heroes suggest HD graphics, in line with spec sheets of the Wii-U.)

The addition of a non-Nintendo character is not something entirely new to the franchise, as Sonic and Solid Snake both appeared in lovingly detailed character art, eating each others assholes, before they appeared in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Could lightning strike twice?

This is strictly rumor for now, but one thing remains certain: I got paid when you clicked on this link.
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[klj5j6li]

Shigeru Miyamoto Found Dead In Closet

I'll admit, I've never tried auto-erotic asphyxiation, although there were a few parts during Bulletstorm where I felt like I might as well have. Minus the erotic part, heh.

But when I heard the creator of Sheriff and Wave Racer 64 for the Nintendo 64 was found dead and double-hung in a closet, I shed an epic tear into my Vitamin Water. It's sad to think that this genius may still be with us if he could only have resisted the urge to "Turn Japanese".

Source: wikipedia

[Flylighter]

[Ni Go Zero Ichi]

Ronk wins, thread over.
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Just another savage day on Planet Earth.

[Youpi]

Sonic The Hedgehog 5 Outsourced To WayForward

I can't say I was a fan of Sonic Generations (maybe it gets better after the first 2 stages?). It was yet another casual stroll that proved the Sonic Team should be kept as far away from the franchise as possible.

The constant lack of challenge in Sonic games makes you long for old-school gaming, games that would kick you in the face and laugh at your inadequate skills.

That's why I was glad to learn that the developers of Contra 4 may be the ones responsible for the next episode—at least if the following screenshot is to be believed:



While our Japanese sources are not 100% sure that it is indeed Sonic 5 WayForward is working on, one thing is certain: we will know next week.
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Twitter: @youpi

[luvcraft]

[Flylighter]

This Vanille Cosplay Will Turn You Into a Pedophile

I never really gave Final Fantasy XIII a fair shake. I played only 15 hours in, so for all intents and purposes the game hadn't quite opened itself up to me by the time my benefactors paid me to do something else. As a result, I was given no chance to familiarize myself with the mercurial host of characters Square-Enix boasts with this installment of the legendary franchise.

Skyrim is the best game I've ever played in my entire life. I've beaten it twice, and every moment of my free time (and about half of my work week) is dedicated to the neglect of chores, obligations, family relations, social interaction, or basic hygienic necessities so that I can beat it a third time. This time around, I'm playing a female dunmer who specializes in destruction while off-handing a shield. This is in sharp contrast to my first character, an edgy fireblast-and-board dark elf girl, and my second character, an elven princess of deep gray complexion who used a shield to compliment her vast plethora of offensive magicks.

But if there's one thing Skyrim lacked, it was reddish-pink-haired girls of questionable age for me to guiltily masturbate to. But never fear, from the Land of the Rising Fun comes this little beauty right here, and her 78-image album of awesome to keep my lap warm on those cold, lonely Windhelm nights.

I'd yank my tiny penis to this for longer, but then I took an arrow to the knee. Minecraft. Cake. Call of Duty. Japan. Cake.

Editor's note: corrected description of Vanille's hair color from pink to reddish-pink, for accuracy. Thanks, reader SolidSnakeFagit69!
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I'm on Steam! ----- I'm on Youtube!

[Take It Sleazy]

The Top Ten Things That EA Should Put In Fifa 13 But Won't

While the Gentleman's Game of Footy may not be as popular to your typical overfed American as it is to our Europals a hop, skip, and a jump across the old pond, FIFA is one of the most enduring and popular video game franchises in history.

My love affair with FIFA started during my senior year at college while I was trying to find something better to do than bang one out to the well worn pages of my Onimusha artbook. While I never really learned the rules to the game, it at least managed to keep my hands busy and keep me off the streets.

Over the years, the series has had it's ups and downs, just like the real game (Zidane anyone?), but there are a few "extras" that might just help make the game appeal to your average Halo-Afflicted Yankee Doodle Dandy.

10. Vuvuzela Mode

[Persona]

Whoa

If there was multiplayer Vuvuzela mode to a soccer game, that'd be brilliant. I imagine it'd be like in later Bomberman games where losers can shoot bombs into the playfield from the edges of the screen until the timer is below 30 seconds.

Of course it's totally obnoxious and would only be funny the first time and every tester in the world would hate whoever implemented it, but man how brilliant that'd be.
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[Youpi]

Feature: Is Cooking Mama Sexist?

You may have already come across the scathing indictment of Cooking Mama on the feminist blog that has been making the rounds today. (If you didn't, then don't. To save you some time and grief, we won't link to this drivel here.)

Now, I will have no shame announcing that, as a grown up man, I never played Cooking Mama: it is not necessary to address the points raised in the article, such as this choice excerpt:

[analogos]

[geinou]

I love you guys! Best lunch break I've had in a long time.

[L]

Someone fix the frontpage code so that the link in the first post works.

[CubaLibre]