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From what I've seen of it, Lords of Shadow 2 is the Kingdom Hearts 2 of Mercury Steam's series. It's still boring as hell -- only, the ridiculousness is now set at a level where criticizing the thing is probably more fun than playing it, because the gameplay itself remains a slog. Trying to describe scenarios from the game is like writing too-dumb-to-ever-happen, in-jest speculations made prior to the LoS2's release. For example: the climactic moments see Dracula Belmont scaling a spacewhale from HELL, driven by Satan (who intends to use the spacewhale to destroy the earth by making it fire a Big Bang Attack from its mouth in the stratosphere), via conveniently secured pegs in the spacewhale's body. Dracula is assisted by Alucard, a.k.a. Vampire Trevor Belmont, a.k.a. Dracula's Own Son, who makes sure to let you know you're playing the game wrong every time you make a mistake climbing. The Downer Duo tug on giant chain-links wrapped about the spacewhale so hard that spacewhale explodes. As the figures fall, Satan possesses Alucard's body and awaits Dracula on a meat chunk of the spacewhale descending towards Earth, perhaps believing that Dracula will hesitate to hit his son. Dracula proceeds to hit Alusatan a billion times. Meat chunk hits the Earth, and then this amazingness happens.



Oh, yeah, another good part: Alucard hatches a plan to lure Satan out of Hell by plunging his Crissaegrim sword into Dracula's heart, for doing so will make Dracula only sleep, you see. But Dracula will also lose his memories! Dracula asks Alucard, "When will I remember?" and Alucard answers, "When I place my hand on your shoulder."

??????????????????

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Wait, are we all really saying that SotN is the only worthwhile Castlevania?

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Here's a post I made in 2009 that's more or less is representative of how I feel today.