final project crtique please?

Kappuru · forum bishonen Joined: 05 Dec 2006

Many of you were around about a year and a half ago where I did a weird little video for a class based around M83's "America" and shooting the entire video out of stills.

I'm a senior in college now, and I shot another one, which I think is much better. Let me know what I could fix though, because there are always things! I ran out of time but I'm going to recut this into a longer version with some tokyo footage later this summer, and could use the feedback!

Shot with a Konica Minolta MAXXUM 5d
1.4 50mm Lens
(the shinjuku footage was shot with a different lens but I can't remember what)

streaming (colors look kinda crappy, h.264 11mb) :
http://www.sushizenusa.com/kap/final.mov

download (maybe it'll stream?) :
http://www.sushizenusa.com/kap/final.mp4

youtube ( crappiest version)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo0P3HlTLUw
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Ebrey · Joined: 05 Dec 2006 Location: Los Angeles

Neat. Was there any significance to following that girl around for a while? Since she wasn't a main character, and since you weren't following a bunch of people, it was at odds with the rest of the video.

It looked cool though, and the music fit.

Martial Loh · Joined: 12 Jan 2007 Location: London, UK

Yeah, what was the point of following the girl?
If you were to re-cut, maybe include less footage of her so her presence seems more incidental, rather than intentional. Unless that's what you want?

What did you edit it with?

les meat · Joined: 17 Dec 2006 Location: The sea

It would be ok for a few minutes of visuals during a performance, but theres just not enough meat there for a video… and you know that sort of night shots + overlays + playing with speed has been done to death.
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Krazii Bakon Lypes · Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 8:25 pm

mah five-year-old daughter could paynt better'n that

Corinth · thatbox Joined: 05 Dec 2006

When did you get the 1.4, and how do you like it compared to the 1.7? Downloading now!

falsedan · Joined: 13 Dec 2006 Location: San Francisco

That was good! Reminds me of http://www.onedotzero.com/track.php?id=18&dvd=2. I am a sucker for bokeh.

Man I dunno why you guys are going on about the girl and not the car or bridge.

edit: hey Arrive is availalbe online!
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Corinth · thatbox Joined: 05 Dec 2006

I like it, overall. I don't think the dashboard fade works very well, and the THE END wankery at the end is a bit much, but it's pretty well done. Good job.

Corinth · thatbox Joined: 05 Dec 2006

falsedan · Joined: 13 Dec 2006 Location: San Francisco

Oh yeah, actual critique: good length, visuals synced well with audio, colours are lovely (even on the quicktime). I would drop a few seconds of dead time after the final "The End" (this is my major complaint).

Is the music a Verbal remix?
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scratchmonkey · Final Finasty Joined: 21 Mar 2007

- I would tune down the "The End" thing. Maybe just one or two quick flashes rather than an extended sequence?

- It seems choppy, in that it goes, bridge, in car, abstract lights, girl on sidewalk, bridge, in car, driving down a street, bridge, in car/quick cuts with city (I think). It may be that you had this intentionally structured, so ignore this if you did. However! If not, for one thing, I think you could do with more of the super-abstracted light shots spread out over the piece instead of a clutch of them at the start. Then, I feel like a more narrative flow would work better, maybe something like bridge, bridge, abstract lights, driving on streets, girl on sidewalk, driving on streets, abstract lights, bridge, bridge.

- Deffo like the colors and the synching is well done. It's difficult to tell that it's really a collection of stills and not a chopped-up high-quality video.

Tokyo Rude · Joined: 28 Mar 2007 Location: I'm on the phone Derrick!

I am not fit to judge this. But I found it nice.

Kappuru you having a remnants of a presence on youtube makes me ;_; .

Kappuru · forum bishonen Joined: 05 Dec 2006

Thank you everyone for your comments. Regarding continuity : the video kind of was shot without a cohesive plot or plan, more for an aesthetic. The class I did this for was more about showing my style of photography than anything else. The feedback really helps though, the second rev of this video should address some criticisms, like the part with the girl being too random. I'm going to shoot some stuff in tokyo this summer, you can be in the next one rud13!
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Tokyo Rude · Joined: 28 Mar 2007 Location: I'm on the phone Derrick!

Got I hope my face clears up, so I can shave, so I can get a haircut by then.