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Mr. Apol
king of zembla
Joined: 04 Dec 2006
Location: a curiously familiar pit
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 Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 12:59 am |
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| The Troops wrote: |
I've met a lot of girls off OKcupid. Not so much these days. (I've been getting one message a month recently, maybe less.) But in 04, 05. I would go to their dorms and sit on opposite ends of their couches with them and watch French movies.
You really have to approach the situation as though you're a reformed rapist. You have to present yourself in a textual manner that acknowledges your own severe undesirability. Not self-deprecating humor. I mean sincere apology. You're honestly trying to be a good person, but you just can't help that you're male, and you're trying to move beyond that.
You will spend two to four weeks typing back and forth to this person. It's important to keep track of what you've said. Enable your chat logs. Know when to punctuate, and when not to. There are certain formalities that internet women adhere to.
At about the one-month mark (generalizing; I've gone as long as nine), when she feels safe enough to hear your voice, you may begin speaking on the telephone. Later, you may have the privilege of arranging actual meetings in well-lit public places. Even now, remember your humbled state, and know the female's prerogative of cutting off plans at the most arbitrary of whims, without any need to inform you, much less speak to you again. You must take this setback in stride. Suppress the frustration, let it ferment and add to your self-destructive mystique. Enraged blog posts will only invite the ire of the female, and the laughter of males with more capacity for courtship.
Selecting an opening greeting can prove to be a challenge. Some prefer the more customary "Hello," while others demand that you open with some sort of reference to their profile as proof of your commitment. Self-described "quirky" girls may take delight in an irreverent, off-the-cuff musing, such as "sigh . . . i eat far too many apples." More the case than not, though, none of these techniques will work, and your advance will be preemptively ignored, forwarded to their inbox, and replied to a week later with an unpunctuated "what." |
man you're thinking about this too hard
mostly for me it's like "hey i'll be in town tomorrow let's hang out" and i'm like "okay lol" and that kind of ends in making out/sex
who are these girls you are talking to and how do i avoid them?
EDIT: and it's not because you're hideous because i mean you're pretty suave looking. so i'm guessing it may because you're insane but that's something you should be able to hide, at least until after you've slept with them
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Isfet
Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Location: A New York
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 1:21 am |
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Apol i think you're pretty on point with that advice right there.
anyway, OKCupid is sort of cute because it tries to compare you to everyone else
hey guys i'm kinkier |
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Broco
Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Location: Headquarters
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 1:29 am |
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| It sounds like one of the things The Troops is struggling with is social anxiety, so he is perhaps nervewrackingly anxious the whole time. That would account for girls not clicking with him much, and also for why he seems to find the whole business an exhausting struggle. |
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Mr. Apol
king of zembla
Joined: 04 Dec 2006
Location: a curiously familiar pit
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 1:36 am |
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hrm. probably. i can't really relate, but okay!
the troops learn to play guitar.
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Ratoslov
Joined: 05 Dec 2006
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 8:50 pm |
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| I've never done well with online dating, but I've never done well with dating period. |
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Daphaknee
a whole shitload of class
Joined: 31 Jan 2007
Location: nickel dime
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| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 9:34 pm |
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i use okcupid to meet fuckbuddies and then i date them if they also have a good personality, the FREENESS nad hte HAVARD MATH GRAD match system is sweeeeeet
so much internet sex sex
i think in order to be good at dating you have to be actively not dating, dont the best relationships form from two people just hanging out and eventuallyhaving that spark? |
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