you guys i want to read your okcupid profiles

bort · Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 6:18 am

hahahaha, two people i know and i have been okcupiding recently and it is the funniest shit in the world. i did not see this thread earlier!

anyway, here is me. my profile makes me sound boring and sad and like a jerk but oh well. i cannot be attractive or interesting on cue:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=crispus_attucks

and this is by far the best profile i have seen yet:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=jenniferann0822

bort · Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 12:18 am

oh yeah

http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=kulit_bolero

profileless, pictureless, and stalks me anywhere from once a day to once an hour

is it a bot or what?

i even asked ARE YOU A ROBOT but i got no reply unfortunately

help selectbutton help

bort · Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 5:36 pm

bort · Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 5:26 am

"Hi,
Thanks for the message :)
I love tea too, with or without the milk.
I am reading a book about a dark elf ( don't know if you would like to read it, but it is a very good one)..let me know if you want the name..

Diane"

i love these people

edit: TO GET THE FULL EFFECT know that her profile says " * Elves are my favorites of the goodly races," and that one of her pictures has a clipart cup of tea inserted into it and a speech bubble talking about how much she loves tea.

edit2: OH YEAH THE MESSAGE I SENT HER WAS:
"I was looking at your profile and noticed your comment that "* Elves are my favorites of the goodly races." They are my favorite goodly race as well. I also enjoy tea, or "chai" as some would call it. Always with milk though (maybe tea purists would look down on me but that is just My Tea Preference). Just lettin you know............"

she lives 140 miles away but maybe we can get some long distance thing going????????????????? lets hope anyway.

bort · Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 5:56 am

http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=diane07

there you go!!!

bort · Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 5:55 pm

http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=ChiyokoKamui

For a complete nutcase she is pretty fucking attractive.

bort · Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 7:59 pm

One lady from Singapore or something used to stalk me at the very minimum of once a day. No profile and no pictures though, so she could very easily have been a bot. I sent her an email saying "ARE YOU A ROBOT" and got no reply.

Also: do any of you guys get new stalkers in spurts? Like, I either get none or five or six over a day or two. I did upload a new picture recently, so maybe that has something to do with it.

Also also: I met some awesome lady the other day so let's hope something comes from that. Oh and I met a 17 year old too :(

and oh yeah since i posted it probably a month/three pages back:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=crispus_attucks

bort · Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 12:43 am

bort · Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 12:49 am

oh, i thought you meant you did not like people bringing it up at all in which case you know... you shouldn't post pictures of yourself with fake dongs in your mouth.

i see though.

bort · Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 3:15 am

the girls on here always write to me first, but once i reply they are silent.

that's really not good at all.

bort · Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 3:26 am

well yeah that is horrible but like three girls wrote me all in one day and i replied to each and that was like a week ago. it is bad when nobody writes to you at all (when they do not even RESTALK YOU that is just fucking obnoxious), but it is maybe worse when a picture is ok enough to get them to write to you but your actual personality (in your reply) destroys all of that good will!

i always thought i was a normal looking guy but a REALLY GREAT DUDE UNDERNEATH IT ALL (ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW ME) but apparently the best part about me is my profile picture and that is pretty terrible but also kind of funny (maybe this qualifies me as EYE CANDY AND EYE CANDY ALONE which would be pretty awesome).

bort · Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:21 am

i am talking to this beautiful girl about situationist international and stoner metal and to quote her profile "dismantling symbolic culture" but she lives in chicago and is seeing someone

fuck you okcupid

bort · Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:00 am

thanks for viewing me jack_klugman, i'm rating you a 5/4

bort · Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 10:03 pm

hey assholes stop scrutinizing me

bort · Posted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:06 pm

bort · Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 8:01 am

i think i'm getting pretty good at this okcupid thing

like i'm charming as fuck or whatever but the only beautiful women are like 100s of miles away and that makes it sort of useless

but i'm good at it

bort · Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 3:52 am